Struggles go on in everyone's life and you can close yourself in a dark room and cry or still live and find joy in the little things.
It all started about 6 years ago, Josh started having red spots on his face, the doctor told him he had just a bad sunburn. Time went by but the redness remained. We came to the States and for the longest time he wasn't able to see a dermatologist to figure out his skin problem.
The past couple of weeks have been crazy between doctor appointments and visits. The doctor has tried to figure out if it was skin cancer, or an autoimmune disease called Lupus. So this past few weeks have been tense between the biopsy and blood tests and waiting...lots of waiting. In a way I was thinking, what would I be doing during our anniversary this week? Celebrate the fact that we arrived at 15 years together, or being sad knowing that we wouldn't have many more?
The worse part was the wait, waiting for the biopsy report and then once we got that one now we had to wait for the blood report and hope that what the doctor had found wasn't the worse.
I am so thankful for a great God that once again has showed us mercy. Today we celebrate 15 years together and yesterday evening we both read the email from the doctor with our hearts on the edge.
Josh does have Lupus of the skin but it is not internal, it is not the general Lupus, the life threatening one.
You know, because 15 is a big number I wanted to celebrate by going somewhere together, in all honesty I wanted to go to Disneyland. I know it's for kids, but there is nothing more magical that Disneyland and princesses and the castle and walking around as if you were in a fairy tale...after all this is our fairy tale! But I am just glad that we have a good news, I am glad that I don't have to think about how to spend the next few years together and how to raise kids by myself. I am glad that I get to keep my best friend, lover, and supporter for a bit longer.
Life goes by fast, and I am just so glad I get to spend it with you Joshua. I hope that we have many more years together and that we get to see each other with white hair and help each other when our bodies wont be strong anymore.
You are an amazing man, I love the way you love God and others beyond the way they act and hurt you sometimes.
I love how good you are with our kids, you play even when you are tired and you show them what a loving father is, reflecting our Good Heavenly Father.
I love your sacrificial love, you are a great husband and I always pray that people might see God's love by the way you love me.
I love you so much!
"And the gladness still keeps running down:
One of those endless fountains
That flows for two people who love like this.
And, my, doesn't always taste right!
like a hundred-proof patience and gentleness and strength.
There is no better flavor than your love.
But then of course I shouldn't doubt the Lord's good taste."
~ J. Piper
"My beloved is mine and I am his"
Song of Solomon 2:16