Summer trip to Italy part 2

Baptisms in Sicily

After spending time in Perugia we went ahead to visit the city of Siena while we were on our way to visit my sister. Siena is a beautiful city, my favorite I would say. Both Perugia and Siena are cities full of history.

The rest of our time in Italy was spent with my family. We enjoyed celebrating my parents' 40th anniversary, spent time with grandma and really just hung out with family.

I lived my whole life in the same town before I met Josh and so going back to my hometown, Manfredonia, brings back many memories; school, friends, family, things that I did as a child.

 I loved Sundays at church. The church in Viale Michelangelo (my home church) will always have a great part in my life. They raised me spiritually, they encouraged me and taught me the basics of being a believer. Leaving is never easy, but we did that too! 

Our last week in Italy was spent in Sicily visiting the church of Acireale. This was probably the highlight of our trip. 

We were blessed to spend time with some friends from our time and ministry there. By God's grace these friends which were going through a difficult time last year, ended up giving their lives to the Lord and wanted to be baptized while Josh was there to visit. So he had the blessing of baptizing them. It was very kind of God to allow us to see their salvation and to be able to be part in their baptism. It was also very kind of Marco (the church elder) to let Josh perform the baptism. I put a video on top. I don't know if it plays well, hopefully it will. You can also see Mount Etna smoking in the background :) 

It was such a blessing to see how God transformed the lives of our friends Sebastiano and Vanessa. We left them as friends and found them as brother and sister in Christ.

Hannah and Benedetta also had a great time because Sebastiano and Vanessa's kids used to be Benedetta and Hannah's best friends. Again, it was so good to reconnect with friends and our church family in Sicily. 

We truly had an amazing summer! God was very gracious to us. We are thankful for the ministry opportunities He gave us and for the blessing to see family and reconnect with them.

Us with Vanessa and Sebastiano 

Acitrezza

Smoky Etna

Italy 2017

Seeing family after 2 years (3 for Josh)

 

A

   We have been in Italy for a little over two weeks now. We have all enjoyed our time here. Ruhamah our youngest has enjoyed some time with grandparents that she had not seen for the past two years. She loves hugs, playing with her cousins, had a difficult time speaking Italian but she is more comfortable now. Grandpa gave her 5 euros and not being used to getting money just like that she gave it back. We had to explain to her that that is what Italian grandparents do, they give you presents just because they love you. 

Hannah and Benedetta have enjoyed time with family as well, I think they like the market, pizza and gelato. Hannah is our Italian food lover :)

4 of my favorite highlights so far have been:

1. Going to the beach!!

2. Going to Vasto on a full family vacation with all of my Italian family

3. Having my mom cook for me some of my favorite foods...seafood that is (Josh had to revert to pizza as his passion is pretty much anything but seafood!)

4.  Visiting missionary friends in Perugia.

     From a ministry prospective Josh has been blessed by the opportunity to preach in my church. This was the first Sunday we were here and he was asked to preach the day before!!! He did a good job, his Italian is not what it was but he got his points across and many came afterwords thanking him for the message.

    We were also able to visit a missionary friend in Vasto. As I mentioned earlier, my parents brought us on a family vacation and since we were near Vasto we decided to check out the local church there. Josh had actually led an evangelistic team in the town with that church 13 years before, so it was neat to reconnect with them. In the evening we took a tour of the city with another missionary working with New Tribes.

    Both Sundays my dad was able to come to church. The first Sunday he came to hear Josh, and the second Sunday he was so kind to drive so that the rest of my family could go the church. Giovanni Greco (the pastor of the church) had a wonderful message on heaven from Revelation 21. We keep praying that God will open his eyes and his heart.

     This weekend we were in Perugia. We were visiting another missionary friend and Josh also had the opportunity to preach here on Sunday as well. We arrived Friday and took a tour of the city, a wonderful city with amazing history (the first settlers made Perugia their home during the time when Saul was the first king in Israel!). I know a few seminary guys who would love to walk around the city while learning about how Pope Paul III (the pope who called the Council of Trent into session) sent his army to quell the Perugians who were refusing to pay the salt tax). We were also blessed with the opportunity to be able to speak at a young couples and singles meeting. We got shared our testimonies and they asked questions. 

As I was pondering on our past and how we spent our lives, I remembered a song that I loved growing up. The song said: “I miei anni piu' belli voglio spender per te, per te mio Signore che moristi per me,” which translated means, “my best years I want to spend for you, for you my Lord who died for me.” We can spend our lives however we want but what better way to use it than serving the Lord who saved us. Sometimes we find many excuses so that we don't serve within the body of Christ. Often what happens is that when we are young we want to enjoy life and we use excuses for not serving, then we get married and we have kids so we hear people saying that they can’t serve the church because they don’t have time. The reality is that in our youth, we have more energy and we can do much more for the Lord....and we should. We should spend the most beautiful years of our life for the Lord, not that when we get old we can't serve anymore or those are the ugly years but I am glad that I can look back and be pleased with how we spent our lives and how nice it is to not have regrets. 

Live for the Lord always. And pray for us as we travel that the Lord may show us what his next step for our life is.

In Him,

The Daugereaus 

Struggles go on in everyone's life and you can close yourself in a dark room and cry or still live and find joy in the little things.

It all started about 6 years ago, Josh started having red spots on his face, the doctor told him he had just a bad sunburn. Time went by but the redness remained. We came to the States and for the longest time he wasn't able to see a dermatologist to figure out his skin problem.

The past couple of weeks have been crazy between doctor appointments and visits. The doctor has tried to figure out if it was skin cancer, or an autoimmune disease called Lupus. So this past few weeks have been tense between the biopsy and blood tests and waiting...lots of waiting. In a way I was thinking, what would I be doing during our anniversary this week? Celebrate the fact that we arrived at 15 years together, or being sad knowing that we wouldn't have many more? 

The worse part was the wait, waiting for the biopsy report and then once we got that one now we had to wait for the blood report and hope that what the doctor had found wasn't the worse.

I am so thankful for a great God that once again has showed us mercy. Today we celebrate 15 years together and yesterday evening we both read the email from the doctor with our hearts on the edge.

Josh does have Lupus of the skin but it is not internal, it is not the general Lupus, the life threatening one.

You know, because 15 is a big number I wanted to celebrate by going somewhere together, in all honesty I wanted to go to Disneyland. I know it's for kids, but there is nothing more magical that Disneyland and princesses and the castle and walking around as if you were in a fairy tale...after all this is our fairy tale! But I am just glad that we have a good news, I am glad that I don't have to think about how to spend the next few years together and how to raise kids by myself. I am glad that I get to keep my best friend, lover, and supporter for a bit longer.

Life goes by fast, and I am just so glad I get to spend it with you Joshua. I hope that we have many more years together and that we get to see each other with white hair and help each other when our bodies wont be strong anymore.

You are an amazing man, I love the way you love God and others beyond the way they act and hurt you sometimes. 

I love how good you are with our kids, you play even when you are tired and you show them what a loving father is, reflecting our Good Heavenly Father. 

I love your sacrificial love, you are a great husband and I always pray that people might see God's love by the way you love me.

I love you so much!

"And the gladness still keeps running down:

One of those endless fountains

That flows for two people who love like this.

And, my, doesn't always taste right!

like a hundred-proof patience and gentleness and strength.

There is no better flavor than your love.

But then of course I shouldn't doubt the Lord's good taste."

~ J. Piper

"My beloved is mine and I am his"

Song of Solomon 2:16

A seminary life

I was reminded by facebook that 6 years ago I was in the States visiting the Master's Seminary.
6 years ago, I was 7 months pregnant with my youngest baby and because of an American Visa requirement, I had to come to the States. I came with my sister while my husband stayed in Italy with my kids so that they could continue school. It was my sister's first time in America and we stayed with my dear friend Katie. She was so kind, she took care of us and even drove me from San Diego to Grace Community Church (2 hours away) so that I could take a look at the Seminary.
I have to say, I will always remember the looks on our faces when we finally found the church. Let's say that it wasn't in a neighborhood that we expected. The other thing was that I had only been in Washington State before and landscape here in Southern California is a little different.

At the Master's Seminary

That day I met Ray Mehringer and Christine Dixon, and I was on Grace Church's campus for the very first time. Seminary classes weren't in session on that day, but we walked around campus and that was my first impact with what would come to change our lives forever.

On the way back from that trip I fell on the escalator in the airport in Rome and I started having contractions. I knew if I had told the plane crew that I was having contractions they would have probably not allowed me to board the next plane to Catania, Sicily. It had been a long trip and I really wanted to go home to my family.
I cried and prayed that I would make it home, after all, it was only a one hour plane ride. I really didn't want to end up in Rome in a hospital away from my family and all alone.
Josh was waiting for me at the Catania airport with a change of clothes, ready to bring me to the ER. Thankfully I made it to Catania, the baby was fine, I ended up spending many weeks on bed rest.

But that was my first TMS (The Master's Seminary) encounter. Now I have been here in the States for almost five years. Josh has graduated with his M.Div (Master's of Divinity) and is now working on his Th.M (Master's of Theology).

Me and Katie near the fountain at Grace Church

Being in Seminary has been definitely a growing experience.
What Have I learned in Seminary?
If I can summarize in one sentence I would say that God is Sovereign and He moves things for the good of those who love Him. I have learned (and am continuing to learn) to trust Him when there are challenging times from a financial perspective, I have learned to trust Him in ministry opportunities and to trust Him for our future (I mean, I am not perfect in those areas, in fact it's a process and God is continually working in me). Romans 8:28 became not just a likable verse, but an actual reality.

He has open doors and opportunities and closed others. For example, our kids have always wanted a minivan when we were in Italy, they prayed and prayed, but nothing, until we came to the US. Even here in the States people told us that we wouldn't be able to afford a minivan with our budget, but God instead saw fit to answer our kids's prayer. We had always wanted to send our kids to a Christian school, but for several years the Lord didn't allow it until his timing was right and now my kids are attending a great Christian school.
These are just a couple of practical and almost silly examples of God's goodness towards us.

We have had our difficult moments too, many difficult moments, but He has always taken care of us and provided all that we needed. He has helped me accept the new life style that seminary imposed on our family of five.
When I sit here and wonder about our future after seminary, trying to answer the same question (that people ask all the time): "what's next?" I can only go to Jeremiah 29:11
" For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future."
I know this verse wasn't meant for me, it's for Israel during their deportation days, in a time when they needed to learn their lesson. They were in time-out so to speak but God still had amazing things planned for His people. The same it's for us, He has amazing things stored for our life. He has plans and they are always good plans because are designed to bring Him glory with our life.

News of Great Joy

Today my heart is elated. Two days ago a friend sent a picture of a lady giving her testimony in the church plant we were involved before coming to the States. This lady happens to be our dear friend. We spent many days and hours talking about the Gospel while we were there, 7 years ago, but nothing happened.

As I am going through the book of Acts and learning from Paul, his calling, his missionary journeys, his sufferings in ministry, I am reminded that God is faithful and His Word sewn in peoples heart will produce fruit at the right time and according to His will.

I love looking at Paul's life, he leaves his sending church and as he travels speaking to the Jews about Christ and speaking to the Gentiles, he finds himself in many difficult situations, in riots, verbal and physical attacks, and when he finally goes back to Antioch to give a report he finds out that there has been established a "rule" for the Gentiles; they needed to be circumcised to be saved. 

So Paul has to sit down with them and discuss the question with the church of Antioch showing them what God was doing among the Gentiles and showing them that there was no need for circumcision in order to be saved.  As Paul is happy of the results of the "debate" and turns around to inform the churches he had planted of this good news, he finds out another piece of sad news; this heresy had already spread to the new churches.

Ministry is challenging and full of difficulties, we have seen it and we have been through it, sometimes you move a step forward and two backwards. But I will rejoice in knowing that God has perfect plans and sometimes in His plans we must endure difficulties in order to grow and mature in our faith and spiritual walk. 

Leaving Sicily was so heartbreaking because we knew our work wasn't done and yet we knew God wanted us here in the States. We have seen the church go through all kinds of struggles and we have seen the blessings from afar. 

For all of those that have supported us during these years I just wanted to let you know that we feel blessed to be able to be ambassadors for Christ, following in Paul's footsteps and fulfilling the Great Commission. We feel blessed to be able to see people who heard the Gospel and are finally coming to Christ, even if He took almost 7 years to bring them to His side. We truly rejoice with the angels and wanted you to rejoice with us. Embracing Christ is so difficult in Italy that it feels even more special a person commits their life to Christ.

 We will be in Italy this summer and visit the church and hopefully see our friend and now sister-in- Christ being baptized.  

Praise the Lord with us because He has done great things and He has not yet finished His work. 

What an amazing God we have.

On Being A Missionary

Our family with George Verwer, founder of Operation Mobilization

I was asked to share my testimony a couple of days ago and as I shared I was reminded of amazing things that the Lord has done in my life.

When I was 15, something amazing was happening in Italy. The Doulos was going to stop by different ports on the Italian coast. What is the Doulos? It's a ship, built in 1914 and years later bought by a mission agency, Operation Mobilization (OM). The Doulos was one of two ships that would travel around the world filled with missionaries and enter different countries to share the Gospel. Onboard they had the largest floating library in the world and because of this they were even able to enter countries which were sometimes closed to the Gospel. OM would only bring the ships around Europe every ten years, or so we were told. So the fact that it was in Italy was an amazing event. The closest port to us was Naples, so my church rented a bus and all who wanted could pile on and go see this historic event. 
I was excited to go with the others. It was an amazing experience, but one thing that changed my heart that day was a mime performed at the international event. 
In the mime God was giving His very best for me, Jesus, but what was I giving in return? 
I started crying because even if I was a believer I was living this new life not giving Him my very best. That day the Lord put on my heart the desire to be a missionary and I thought one day I will be one of the members of the Doulos. 
So I started to learn English because that was the language spoken onboard and I contacted OM in Italy and I found some amazing people that would send me encouraging notes and council as the time to go to field would come  at some point. 
I was 15, so there was a long way to go. 
One piece of advice that I was given was to start serving within my home church and my home town. If I wanted to be a missionary abroad, I needed to first learn how to be a missionary at home.

I start serving the church in every way I could and I was part of every evangelistic campaign my church would put together.

I was blessed by being a member of a church which had a passion for evangelism so I was taught how to share the Gospel and we had one outreach event after another throughout the year using many different methods. The elders of my church also had a heart for missions so they decided to plant a church in a town nearby where there were no evangelical churches. As a church we would go every Sunday evening and have an outreach. People from the church would follow up contacts during the week. When we had the first believers, the church rented a place to be used for church meetings and then my church elders/pastors found a missionary to move to the town and take care of this new group of believers. That too had a great impact on my life.

I attended a two year Bible program within my church and in the meantime I was waiting. Waiting to be sent out as a missionary. My leaders were of the opinion that I couldn't go as a single woman, and even if at that point they had realized the Lord had put a passion on my heart for Italians they preferred me not going alone.

The years of waiting were hard. I knew this was what the Lord had for me but I couldn't understand the waiting. The pages of my journal were full of "but why oh Lord... ?" " ...when?..." But I never stopped serving and never stopped being involved in mission events. I would take my summers off from work to go evangelize with short teams, I would help in the winter and any time I could.

As I look back I can say I am grateful for that waiting time. I know now that the mission field is tough and you need big shoulders and a hard skin to make it trough. I am glad I went into a mission field with a husband that could be my strong companion in difficult times. I am especially glad that I didn't try to kick the door open when I didn't want to wait, instead I am glad I waited for the Lord to open the door, because when He did it was in His perfect timing.

My favorite verse was and still is

Jeremiah 29:11

"for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Even today as we look at our future and we try to figure out what is the next step that the Lord has for our lives we have to rest in Him and know that He has perfect plans and will open doors at the right time, His perfect time. There is no better place to be that in His perfect plan!

Tea, cookies and a life that matters.

Life is always busy at the Daugereaus' home.

We are glad that the new school year started, but we also know that it comes with many other commitments, like Awana, music, seminary wives discipleship, bible study and so on.

We get busy, but we love being involved and serving in our church wherever we are. 

This last month we had a blessed and unique time at our Bible study!

The ladies had a tea party, with hats and dress up included.

 A wonderful friend and amazing decorator set up the all event at her house, with hats to make, picture to take, fancy rings and bracelets to wear.

We chatted and laughed, we acted like princess in a British castle. We had delicious teas with wonderful desserts. But we also shared God's Word and learned important lessons.

We learned from Paul that we need to live a life that matters!

Philippians 1:21-30

"21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. 23 But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; 24 yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that your proud confidence in me may abound in Christ Jesus through my coming to you again.

27 Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel; 28 in no way alarmed by your opponents—which is a sign of destruction for them, but of salvation for you, and that too, from God. 29  For to you it has been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, 30 experiencing the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear to be in me."

Paul's life was spent for Christ. For him Christ was everything, and he lived, and talked and acted out of the outpouring of his love for Christ. And he encouraged the Philippians to do the same thing, to live a life that matters!

He encouraged the church to strive in oneness and to live in harmony with eachother. We always need to strive for that unity in the church body but also in our daily lives, considering the other more important, being humble and trying not to be selfish.

Another encouragement that Paul leaves in these verses is to not be afraid of adversity. My favorite verse is "For to you it has been granted for Christ’s sake....to suffer for His sake" Pastor MacArthur says that the verb granted comes from the same root of the word grace, so essentially that means that we have been giving the grace to suffer for him. It is hard to accept this concept in a society where the prosperity Gospel grows. But we have to remember that sufferings are as much as a blessing as our salvation itself.

Paul was in prison for the Gospel when he wrote this, what a great encouragement for us! Tt endure hard times and to consider them a gift. 

It was overall a great encouragement to live life that matters!  

       

Italy, my love.

We spent a few weeks in Italy this summer visiting family and at the same time visiting our past location of ministry. 

Italy has an interesting shape, it looks like a boot with a heel and a spur. It is kind of a small country, smaller than California alone. It also has two big islands part of it: Sicily and Sardinia. People ask me all the time how is the weather there and it is hard to give a response because for such a small country the climate varies greatly. If you go down to Sicily you can find that it is as hot as here in California but much more humid. And in the winter season you get storms, lightning, thunder and winds like no other! In the center south, in the coastal cities you find  a very warm climate, but you still get winters. In the north often it looks like there are rainy season and really rigid winter. 

But in Italy it is not just the weather that is various! Italy is made by 21 regions and each one of them is characterized by its own dialect. You can easily say that there is a dialect for every city and town, some of them are very similar with just a small nuance of difference, others are completely different and the reason lays behind the many occupations by foreign powers and influence of the country that have dominated my beautiful country. 

Food is various. Every region has its typical foods, if you go down to Sicily you find arancini, granite ai gelsi, cannoli etc., in Puglia you will find "orecchiette alle cime di rapa", wonderful pastries while the Florentine steak is found in Tuscany. Sometimes even silly things like a croissant change their name as you travel from south to north, the south will call it cornetto and the north would call it brioche. And they will look at you weird if you don't use the right name in the right place!

You can find a ton of history all throughout the land. Once a friend from Sicily was telling us that wherever you dig in Sicily you are most likely to find something ancient. One friend from Siracusa told us of a builder in the city. As his crew was digging down in order to lay a foundation, they find a statue. They looked at it and then buried it in concrete because if they would have said something the whole worksite  would have become an archeological site. In Sicily you can see temples like the ones you see in Athens. In fact in the third century, Siracusa was the largest Greek city in the world! Pompei and Ercolano hold the beauty of cities destroyed by the past, and is from sites like these that we can learn a lot about our history. Florence collects our arts but in every city or town you cam find ancient piece of our history, some are unknown to the world but still so precious. 

We visited Rome with our kids this time around because I wanted them to get a glimpse of their past! We also stopped at Saint Peter's Basilica. Many years have passed since the day it was built, but things are still the same. You have crowds and crowds who go there and pay to see the inside of the basilica, reliquiem and to see the pope. When I stand there and look and this huge building I am reminded that this is where everything started. I have those words that keep on going into my mind "As soon as a coin in the coffer rings / the soul from purgatory springs". The basilica was built on the deception of people. Coin upon coin was paid with the hope to have a place in heaven. Martin luther was shocked when he saw what was being built and the deception behind it. And so the reformation was started! Even today the basilica is a sign of the richness of the pope and the catholic church and it is also a sign of deception. The encouragement to buy your salvation from the catholic church is always there, it is masked in different forms but it is there. 
The truth is that even if Italy is made up of so many beautiful things: food, climate, places, people...most of its people are lost deceived by an old tradition and religion. 
As you walk through those marvelous roads and you meet the people, you always have to remember that they are lost and don't have any idea of the spiritual truth spoken in the Bible.
 I think the reason why I love Italy so much is that I see not just the beauty of a country but also the need of a population! 

In less than 24 hours I will be leaving US soil. After being here for almost two years I get to go home, to my beloved land Italy. It will be an interesting journey, with three kids a lay over in London and a 5 hour drive to my hometown.  Lord willing everything will go well and we will make to my parents house at 11pm.

As I am excited to go home and see my family and friends and the church family where I got saved and grew up in my faith, I am also sad to have to travel without my special husband. Because of work Josh cannot be with us for the whole time. He will come be with us mid July, a friend gave him his flight miles so that he could come over and spend three weeks with us. We are so grateful for this blessing. 

So, please pray for us as we travel across the globe :)

One of the reasons for this particular blog post is to tell about Ruhamah, our youngest daughter. Many of you have been praying for her. 

Since December we have been dealing with symptoms like constipation. In April there was a twist of events, she had a rectal prolapse that brought the  doctors and us to think that maybe there was something more than just constipation. She was given an exam checking for Cystic Fibrosis and only last Friday we were able to have the results from that.

 She was negative to the Cystic Fibrosis test. 

We are so blessed and happy by the answer of the test. And at the same time we will have to investigate more to figure out what is not working properly in her intestines. Because we are leaving for Italy we will have to try to do more research while on that side of the planet. So please be praying for us as we hope to get more testing done while there. Being that we are italians we should be able to get medical access with no problems even if some people disagree with this. I guess we will see while there. 

Thanks to all of you that have been praying for Ruhamah and please keep praying for her that we can get a better understanding of what is going on and how to deal with it. 

Thank you all for your prayers,

Carmela

Celebrating Life Together

This month we also celebrate 12 years of marriage. 

An anniversary gives you a chance to look back at the years gone by and reflect on all the things gone through.

When we got married we were very young. I wanted my fairy tale. I had waited so long for the perfect man, I thought in reward I deserved a perfect marriage, the cinderella kind of marriage. Well things were not as simple and in the first few months I realized that I wasn't getting that perfect marriage, it couldn't have been, because both my husband and I were selfish people corrupted by our sin nature and didn't know how to consider the other more important than ourself.

When I look back I see how far we have walked in our path together. I see how we have grown and matured. How we have become more like one instead of being two different people. And that is the purpose of marriage. Two people becoming one flesh. 

Our love has grown, it is not just the sparkly thing of our fist year together, is a more mature love, seasoned with the knowledge of each other. Yeah, I am not married to the perfect man, but he is not married to the perfect woman either. 

We have become best friends, we have learned to support each other, we have learned to be there for each other. Again we have learned to consider the other more important than ourself.

Marriage can grow bad or better. It is indeed like a little plant, maybe like a little bonsai. It needs a lot of tender care, just the right amount of water, sun and fresh air. We can spend lots of time and energy on many things and often we forget to spend it on the most important ones.

Oh we were so different!! One silly example: I remember we would argue over what type of furniture to get, I like dark colors, Josh liked light. For the longest time I would not pick furniture because I was not going to give up what I wanted, I was not going to compromise!

Well, today we just grew in loving the same thing...yeah I know, how weird can that be? We have dark furniture in our living room and lighter in our bedroom :)

 Are we perfect? No we aren't! Often in Italy people would think we had a perfect marriage. We don't, but by the grace of God we live to learn how to love each other more and more every day. We learned to understand each other.

I am so thankful for a husband that loves me as Christ loves the Church. He is willing to give up himself for me. 

I love Josh, I am blessed so much with this great man. He really loves me in a deep way, how do I know that? Because I know how imperfect I am.

The women's role in the church

I know this may seem a boring topic but I had to do this research project for one of my class and wanted to share it with you. So enjoy it :)

The women's role in the church

Jews at the time of Jesus had a low view of  women. In fact women were not given opportunity to learn, there was no law that said they could’t go to the synagogue but in a way they were not welcomed. John MacArthur says in one of his books : “most Rabbis refused to greet women in public and believed that teaching them was a waste of time.”(God’s High Calling For Women, pg. 24)
In the greek society, respectable women had a very confined life, they could never get out alone, could never participate to any public assembly,  often she wouldn’t even appear at meals.
During the years the situation of women didn’t change much in fact even a century or more ago women where not allowed to vote and they couldn’t get an education. God’s view of womanhood and manhood has been distorted because of sin, and men often abuse their leadership role and women often try to rebel against their own God-given role. The feminist movement achieved great changes in our society, but has also brought much confusion regarding the woman’s role, not only in the world but also within the church. Since the birth of the feminist movement many things have changed and some are good, but most are very questionable, because of it though we face debate after debate regarding the role of a woman within the church.

Role within the family
- Helpmate
Genesis 2:18 “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
In this passage we see that God decides to make a helper for Adam. Was this a mistake? Was the word helper wrong here? No, it wasn’t, God knew what He wanted to do and made it in a way that we would know it clearly.
“God created the woman to be a helper for the man. It is no mistake that God made Adam alone and incomplete. God made Adam incomplete because he intended to create a completer.” - (Leadership for women in the church, pg. 27)
Even if the helper role is often seen as a sad role compared to the man’s role, we can be encouraged by the fact that the Bible talks about God being a helper in the following verses: Ex. 18:4; Ps. 33:20; Ps. 70:5. If The Bible can talk about God as being a helper, without making Him look like a fool or belittling Him to taking away from His being God, then we should not shy away from it either. We need to be happy knowing that our helper role is not to diminish who we are. God made Adam and Eve perfectly but with different roles.
In essence we see that while man was put in charge of the garden and of the family a woman was created to help her husband. One would say that the husband role was to be a leader and the wife was to be a helper. Even just looking at it from a natural prospective we can see that men and women are wired differently, man are usually prone towards physical work, providing for the family, while women are more creative, caring, looking for details, they give comfort, lovingly protect, there are exceptions but the overall rule shows us the differences between men and women.
- Life-giver

Genesis 1:28  “God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

 Genesis 3:20 “Now the man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all the living.” 

Eve’s role was to be a mother. God created man and woman in the same image of God but with different roles. Even from a physical prospective they were different. Eve was made to bear children and to be a life-giver while Adam was there to care for the needs of his family. Even if her name changed after the fall, she was still made with female organs able to procreate while man was not. She was made more sensible and careful to the needs of others while man was made with muscles and with an attitude towards physical labor. John Chrysostom explains it this way, “If they (husband and wife) perform their proper duties, everything around them acquires firmness and stability.” Susan Hunt says, “When woman join together to perform their proper duties as corporate helpers and life-givers in the family of God, they contribute to the firmness and stability of the Church.” Understanding and accepting our role as helper, will be a blessing in our marriage and also within the church, and will help us live in that harmony that God had prepared for us.

A verse that is often used to demonstrate the equality among sexes is found in Galatians 3:28. It reads, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” This verse does talk about being equal but doesn’t refers to our roles instead it refers to our position in Christ. In Him in fact we are all equal, we all get saved in the same way and God doesn’t make any difference in the way he grants salvation.

- Dependent or subordinate

Ephesians 5:22-24 “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”

We see a clear lesson regarding roles within the family, the husband is the head, the leader while the wife has a subordinate role. So within the family  a woman’s role is to be a helper to her husband, to submit to his leadership and show respect. This is important because it has an impact in what a woman can do within the church.

John Piper says:
“In the home when a husband leads like Christ and a wife responds like the bride of Christ, there is a harmony and mutuality that is more beautiful and more satisfying than any pattern of marriage created by man. Biblical headship for the husband is the divine calling to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant-leadership, protection and provision in the home. Biblical submission for the wife is the divine calling to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts. (Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, pg. 52)”
Role within the church
- Spiritual gifts
The Bible teaches us that we all have spiritual gifts and that we need to use them within the church context, the gifts are given for the common good not for personal satisfaction but for each other’s blessing and growth, (Romans 12:3-8, 1 Corinthians 12: 4-11, Ephesians 4, 1 Peter 4:10-11).
1 Corinthians 12:7 “But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.”

1 Peter 4:10-11 “As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 11 Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”

For this reason since we all have been given spiritual gifts, we are able to serve within the church according to what is the gift given to us. However those gifts must be used within the authority of God given hierarchy.

Along this line of thought Piper writes: “For men and women who have a heart to minister-to save souls and heal broken lives and resist evil and meet needs-there are fields of opportunity that are simply endless. God intends for the entire church to be mobilized in ministry, male and female. Nobody is to be at home watching soaps and ballgames while the world burns (Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, pg. 53).” 

Another key passage in Scripture that refers to what women can do within church is Titus 2:3-5. Paul writes: “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

As we mature as women in Christ we are called to disciple younger women, there are several things we can teach them in order to be reverent in the way they live.

First, to be reverent in the way we live means to live in a way that glorifies God, to have that approach to life where God is at the top of the list and everything else flows from our relationship with Him. Once we have learned that and started to apply it in our lives we can teach it to others. 

Secondly, as a mature spiritual woman we can teach others how to face life in a sober way. This sober lifestyle is not just connected to wine but connected to others too. We can teach them not to talk bad about others and how to live a life doing good works and blessing others with them. 

Thirdly, we can teach them to be self controlled. This aspect is extremely important in our Christian life. My eight year old knows the rules, so she knows what is good to do but often her sin nature prevails and she fails not doing what she ought to. We are the same way! We know what to do and we need to walk in that way and don’t let our sin nature win. We need to have self control being able to say yes to what is godly and no to what is not. 

Fourthly, we need to teach them to be pure and have a pure conduct in a world corrupted by immorality. 

Fifthly, a woman must be busy at home. As we have seen, our first priority is to be a helper to our husband because that is why we were created. We need to be their support in daily life, so even doing things like dinner, laundry, bringing him coffee and a piece of cake while he is studying or working are simple ways to help our husband facing the day with an advance. If we have kids we have a responsibility towards them so that our house is in order to welcome dad when he gets home from work. We need to embrace and live the concept of submission so that we can teach it to younger women. This is very important in a society where respect for man is gone and the equality of sexes makes you think that man has not a higher role over the woman. Once we have learned it ourselves we can teach it to others. 

By living this way and teaching others through discipleship and counseling we make sure that the Word of God is honored and as believers we are bringing God glory.

So from this verse we clearly see that a woman can teach, counsel and disciple, in the areas related to women. This is a great ministry that can take place within the church. In fact, women usually open up only with other women and to have wise ladies able to teach and train others in the christian walk is one of the greatest blessings a church could have. And this passage also demonstrate how some of the spiritual gifts can be used within the practical context of relationship with other believers.

- 1 Timothy 2:11-15  “A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.”

Finally we look at a passage that clearly states that women should not have any pastor or elder role within the church. The greek word that translated “authority” means judicial or governing authority, so in essence this passage is referring to the teaching and preaching of the word of God in an authoritative way. In this passage we see again the subordinate role that the woman has in relation to men. So as within the family, leadership is appointed to the husbands, leadership roles within the church are appointed to men. Can a woman teach? Yes, as we have seen from the passage of Titus there are various situation in which a woman can teach, disciple and counsel, but those are all concerning women or children. We can serve in any way possible as long as we keep a humble spirit and we submit to the order God has created for us.

Suggested books:

Duncan, J Ligon, and Susan Hunt. Women's Ministry in the Local Church. Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway Books, 2006.

Hunt, Susan, and Peggy G. Hutcheson. Leadership for Women in the Church. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan Pub. House, 1991.

James, Sharon. God's Design for Women: Biblical Womanhood for Today. Darlington (England): Evangelical Press, 2002.

MacArthur, John. God's High Calling for Women. Chicago: Moody Publishers, ©2009.

Piper, John, and Wayne Grudem. Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism. S.l.: Crossway Books, 2012.